


Take Me To Church

by aesthetixoxo



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 16:06:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7721152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesthetixoxo/pseuds/aesthetixoxo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, a cat coming into his house through an open window leads Alec Lightwood to the best orgasm of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me To Church

Alec felt like he was having a heart attack. Or something of the sorts, being only twenty two, he didn't know the symptoms, and he thought he was too young. But he woke up with a gasp and his body felt numb as he tried to sit upright and his face felt tickley; his mind went to the worst possible scenario.

Except, as he calmed down, he realized there was something, an animal, curled up on his stomach, tail swishing in his face. He sighs in relief that he's not dying, then picks up the furry creature carefully, setting the little guy down on the bed next to him. 

The cat doesn't wake, and Alec furrows his brows, eyes trailing from the cat to his open window, trying to piece the puzzle together. It was hot in his room so he had decided to open the window and let the cool night air in. He glances at the clock on his nightstand, 5:17, then decides to get up. 

He checks the collar on the cat. There's no real important information, besides two words (Church and Magnus. He assumed Church was the cats name, but who or what was a Magnus?) but the window is open so the cat can leave if he wants so Alec shrugs and makes his way to the kitchen. After a moment he realizes, Church is following. Alec rolls his eyes. "What? I don't have any cat food."

Alec opens the fridge, observing the contents. He pours a little bit of milk into a bowl and sets it on the floor, along with a plate of chopped up lunch meat, which was the best he could do right now. Then he brews a pot of coffee, sitting at the table to enjoy his drink, carefully watching as Church laps up the milk. He takes a few bites of the meat, but seems dissatisfied. 

That, Alec thinks to himself, was why he preferred canines to felines; cats were just so... picky. He couldn't help but wonder who had raised such a spoiled cat, only to lose said cat in the middle of the night. He pours more milk into the bowl, then goes to the bathroom to get ready for the day. He didn't have have many plans, just to see his sister, and maybe her girlfriend, so it's not long before he's back sitting at his table, staring down with Church.

Alec sighs. He doesn't want to leave him alone in his house all day, but really, he didn't want to kick him out, either. He makes sure there's enough food and water for the cat before leaving. If he's gone when Alec gets back, good, he was no longer Alec's problem. If he was still there, good, he wouldn't have to worry about the poor thing. He find himself wondering why he cares as he shuts the door behind him.

\---

"A cat?" Izzy inquires, looking slight amused. Alec doesn't feel the least bit amused, however, at this turn of events. "Are you going to keep it?"

"I never planned on getting a cat. Plus, it's someone else's pet." Alec says, taking a bite of his waffle. The waffles were probably the main reason Alec and his sister came here so often. 

"Well, how are you going to find his owner?" Izzy wonders, sipping at her orange juice. She wasn't much for breakfast. All she had was juice and a fried egg, which Alec thought was outrageous, who had a waffle, alongside two eggs, toast, hash browns, and eggs, but for Izzy, it was enough. She paid more attention to lunch, though, was her argument.

"I was kind of hoping he would find his owner. Or his owner would find him." Alec shrugs, cleaning the last bits of syrup off his plate with his tongues. Izzy stares at him for a moment, smiling fondly.

"So what, you're just going to feed and house this cat until this person comes around?" Izzy says, then adds, "which might never happen."

"Hey, I got an hour less sleep than I wanted, so I'm not really worrying about the fur ball at the moment." Alec states, pushing his empty plate aside. 

"You like him," Izzy says after a moment, a small smile playing on her lips. She wasn't going to push her brother. Not too much, anyways.

"Do not," Alec says, trying to remain unemotional. But he can't help but think of the little guy, curled up on the bed beside him, purring happily, as if he had known Alec his whole life, "Okay, maybe a little. But he's still not mine. Now are you done asking questions?"

Izzy doesn't say anything, but Alec knows she wants to. He sighs, preparing for an onslaught. At least Jace, Clary, and Simon weren't there today, otherwise he'd have even more questions, and possibly Simon begging Alec to keep it. He could handle Izzy.

\---

It's almost six o'clock in the evening, and Alec is sitting on the couch, a movie playing in the background that he's not really paying attention to. Ever since he had gotten home, his focus had been on Church. Cats were kind of like babies, requiring a lot of attention. At least, Alec assumed. 

Church had been all over him since he returned from his day with Izzy. He felt kind of bad, so he curled up on the couch, turned it into a movie marathon. And that's where they had been for the past few hours. Church hadn't left his side. 

There's a knock on the door that brings him out of the trance he had been in. Careful not to wake church up or make him mad, Alec slides from the couch and makes his way to the door, opening it slowly. Standing before him was a man, slight but muscular build, tan skin shining where the rays of the setting sun hit it. 

Alec clears his throat, realizing he had been staring for longer than was necessary, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I was wondering if you've seen this cat? He ran out the door when I opened it and I can't seem to find him." The man says, holding up a picture of a black and brownish cat. "His name is-"

"Church," Alec interrupts, and as if on cue, the cat slinks down around his ankles, purring softly. Alec bends down, rubbing him behind the ears, then picks him up. "Yeah, he crawled in through my window. He's been here all day."

Alec hands him over to Magnus, who accepts him with an embarrassed, albeit grateful, smile. "Thank you, I was so worried. And I'm sorry if he bothered you at all."

"He didn't," Alec says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He wasn't much of a cat person, but he had to admit, he had grown kind of fond of Church. "He's really... cute. Although I'm not much of a cat person."

"Oh?" Magnus says, eyes gleaming. "Church makes everyone fall in love with him. I just wish he could make people fall in love with me." Magnus says, laughing softly as he brings the cat up to his chest.

"I'm sure you have no trouble doing that yourself," the words fall out, and Alec doesn't even know what he's saying before he's said it. He runs a hand through his hair, taking a breath. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

"No, no, please continue," Magnus says, a playful tone to his voice. Alec blushes a soft shade of pink, and Magnus smiles. "Kidding. I really should be going, but it was nice to meet you..."

"Alec."

"I'm Magnus. Yes, it was very nice to meet you, Alexander."

\---

He hadn't closed the window, he realizes, when he's once again woken up but a cat jumping onto his stomach. Although this time, he feels, he's more prepared. And it's half past six, so he can't be too mad. He leads the cat to the kitchen, pouring more milk into the bowl. He hadn't gotten Magnus' number, and he didn't even know if Magnus was his name, he had just assumed from the collar. 

Except, it seems, he didn't need Magnus' number. At five minutes to eight, there's a knock on the door, and Alec opens the door, full well knowing who's going to be on the other side. There's something adorable about the embarrassed expression on Magnus' face that forces Alec's lips to turn into a smile.

"I'm sorry, he got out again, I have no idea what's gotten into him." Magnus says, and Alec gestures for him to come in. Magnus raises an eyebrow but shrugs, walking in and bending down to pet his cat, who had come bounded down the hallways. "If you're looking to get laid, dear, I'm sorry to say it won't amount to much, especially not here."

Alec knows Magnus is talking to the cat, but he can't help but laugh when Magnus says 'especially not here.' Magnus looks up at him, shaking his head. "Sorry, that's the only explanation I can think of."

"Maybe," Alec offers, "he's trying to hook us up, and this is all the plot of a crappy romance story being written for the Internet."

Magnus laughs at that, shaking his head. "And I thought I could be ridiculous."

Alec shrugs. "I was just about to make some breakfast, if you'd like to stay. Although you seem very busy, with the whole losing your cat and all."

Magnus narrows his eyes, but there's no malice in his expression, and Alec grins, padding into kitchen. Magnus follows, just as Church had done before. He can't help but note that Magnus has a lot in common with church. Or maybe it's just cats in general; cat-like eyes, feline-esque movements as he moves almost soundlessly through Alec's house. 

It's kind of intriguing. But then, Alec observes at the extravagant fashion sense and glamorous makeup Magnus had been sporting, everything about Magnus was intriguing. He tries not to linger on those thoughts for too long, forcing himself not to look at Magnus and church sitting in his dining room, forces himself not to think about the images that evokes to mind.

He's sets three plates down on the kitchen table, two of bacon, eggs, toast, and sausage for him, and one of just cut up sausage for the cat. Magnus looks at it, then looks at Alec, an unrecognizable expression crossing his face for a fleeting moment before its gone.

"You didn't have to do... all this." Magnus gestures once he's set the cat and the play of sausage down. Alec shrugs, opting to take a bite full of food instead of replying to that. What would he even say, I like your cat and you're super hot so maybe I can trick you into liking me with very unimpressive cooking skills?

They eat in silence, but Alec can tell that when he's not looking at Magnus, Magnus is looking at him. And really, it's unnerving. And a little bit embarrassing. He knows Magnus can't read his thoughts, but if he could... Alec quickly stands up, looking at the empty plate in his hands. "Sorry, I just... remembered there's somewhere I have to be."

He quickly puts his plate in the sink, toeing on his shoes, Magnus staring in confusion the entire time. "Feel free to stay and finish, just lock the door on your way out I just... have to go."

\---

"You really just left him in your apartment?" This time it's not Izzy questioning him, but instead her girlfriend Clary. The whole gang was here today, although Simon and Jace didn't seem to be getting along too well. Which was odd, Simon and Jace may be polar opposites, but he didn't know anyone who was more in love then those two. It was gross, really. 

"Yeah, not my finest moment," Alec says, picking at his hash browns, he hadn't been hungry, seeing as he had already eaten at home, and had embarrassed himself in a major way. But he still wanted to order something, so he got chocolate milk and hash brows, both of which remained barely touched. 

"It's not the most embarrassing thing you've done," Jace says, and Alec glares, but he knows Jace is right. 

"Yeah, remember that time when you and Jace were at that ice skating rink-" Simon starts, but seeing the scathing look on Jace's face, abruptly stops talking. "Yeah."

"What if he's still there when you get him?" Izzy asks, a sly smile on her face. Then her expression fades. "Or what if he's stolen something?"

"Honestly, with his cat continuously showing up in my house, it's more likely he thinks I'm the thief." Alec mutters, pushing his plate away.

"The only thing Magnus seems to have stolen is your brothers heart," clary says, and her and Izzy share a moment that Alec can discern. He doesn't really care to try, either. He stands up, shaking his head.

"I should go and figure out if I can fix this." He says, throwing some money on the table for his portion of the meal. He didn't know exactly what he was fixing, but he was going to try. 

\--- 

There is exactly one Magnus located in the directory. Thank god phone books still exist, Alec thinks to himself, typing in the number. The name listed is Magnus Bane. Alec wonders momentarily why bane sounds so familiar, then he hears the incessant ringing, then the click as the phone picks up.

"Hello?" He hears the silky voice he had come to recognize over the past couple of days, and his heart rate quickens. Even over the phone, Alec doesn't know how to handle himself around Magnus. Really, he was going to have to work on that. Alec licks his lips before speaking.

"Yeah, hi, this is Alec." Alec says quickly, not sure if he's making any sense. "Is this Magnus?"

"Ah, Alexander," Alec isn't sure if he's just making it up or not, but Magnus' voice seems to brighten at the mention of his name. "I was wondering what that was all about this morning, but I didn't think you'd grace me with a call."

Alec laughs softly, rolling to where he's laying on his stomach. He probably should've made the call in the living room or the kitchen, or anywhere less intimate, really, where the sound of Magnus' voice didn't do... things to him. He only had himself to blame for this one really. "Yeah, sorry. I forgot about breakfast with my siblings, I just got so caught up..."

In you, Alec wants to say, but doesn't finish his sentence.

"It's quite alright, darling. I enjoyed being alone in your house," Magnus says, and Alec can hear a mischievous tone to his voice. He hadn't even thought to check the house, although nothing seemed out of place when he returned.

"Did you go through my things?" Alec asks absentmindedly, padding slowly around the house. "Or did you take something."

"I'm just messing with you, Alexander. I ate and then I left." Magnus clarifies, and Alec let's out a sigh. He didn't really believe Magnus did anything unseemly, anyhow. "It was quite a disappoint. I was hoping after breakfast you'd take me back to your room and-" there's a shuffling and a crash, and Magnus makes an alarmed noise. "Sorry, one second."

Alec waits, much longer than a second. Longer than five minutes, too. It's almost ten minutes later when he hears Magnus' voice across the line. "First church, then Chairman Meow. I don't know what's gotten into these felines of mine."

"Wait, you have more than one?" Alec asks, although seeing Magnus' love for extravagance, he has no doubt Magnus has more than one of a lot of things.

"Yes, Church is the one who seems to love getting out lately, and Chairman Meow is my pesky little trouble make." Magnus sighs softly, and Alec can hear the phone moving, probably along with the man on the other line. "He knocked down a picture from the wall and was trying to claw at the glass."

"Oh, he sounds like a troublemaker," Alec says, and he's not really sure, now that he thinks about it, why he called Magnus. He furrows his brows, deep in thought, as Magnus rambles.

"You know, Alexander," Magnus purrs, and really it was bad enough Magnus calling him that, "You sound absolutely devastating when its late at night, your voice gets just the slightest bit deeper."

Alec swallows. He knows exactly why he called, but he's never been so bold. But then, he thinks, maybe there was a reason Church kept climbing in through his window, besides the fact that it was probably the only one open for blocks. 

"You sound devastating all the time," Alec remarks. He feels that strange sensation in the pit of his stomach, like a spark, a flame curling around his insides. He was familiar with it, yet it was so foreign he didn't know how to handle it, exactly. "Especially when you call me Alexander."

"You like that, darling?" Alec can tell that Magnus is teasing him, and it works. Alec pushes back the whimper boiling in the back of his throat. "Tell me what else you like."

"I like..." Alec trails off. He had never done the whole dirty talk before. He had never really done much before. He feels unsure of himself as he says, "I liked that shirt you were wearing earlier. I could just barely see your chest hair, but God, it made me wanna so much more."

There's a vibration and Alec looks down at his phone, pressing the speaker button to look at the text he had just received... from Magnus. He opens it to see Magnus, wearing the same outfit from earlier, but this time all the buttons were undone except one, exposing the faint expansion of chest hair and the trail of dark pubes leading from his belly button downwards. 

"Is that the type of image you were wanting to see?" Magnus sounds so sure of himself, it makes Alec wonder what exactly Magnus has done. He's sure Magnus has done quite a bit, and he wonders how much of an expert he is with those long fingers and...

"Yeah," Alec breathes. He can hear the desperation in his own voice, he wants to do something but he doesn't know if he can; it feels wrong just thinking about it without Magnus' approval.

"Alexander," Magnus says, as if reading his mind. "Are you touching yourself?"

Alec swallows hard, his hand glued to the top of his thigh. His voice is hard when he says no.

"You can, if you would like," Magnus says, and Alec groans, turning onto his back. The way he says it is enough to send shivers through his spine. Alec allows himself to pull out his cock, wiggling so his pants are around his knees. He gives it a few quick, desperate strokes, before slowing down, savoring the sound of Magnus' voice, his breathing on the other line.

"Do you like it when I tell you what to do, Alexander? Are you a good boy who likes to take orders?" Magnus asks, emphasizing the words "good boy." Alec nods before realizing Magnus can't see him. Which is a shame, really, Alec thinks. He's sure Magnus would love to see the effect he has on Alec.

"Yeah, yeah," Alec says, his voice strangled. 

"Hmm..." Magnus' voice is curious, as if processing this newfound information. "Do you have lube?"

Alec "mhmms" in conversation, focusing less on speaking, and more on his hand and Magnus' voice, wishing like hell the other was here.

"I want you to be my little angel and get your fingers nice and lubed up," Alec breathes, nodding, knowing that the silence is enough for Magnus to infer what Alec is doing. Alec does as he says, squirting a decent size amount of the cool liquid onto his fingers. 

"Good, darling. Now slowly slide one finger into yourself," Magnus sounds hungry, as if he wants to eat Alec whole. Which wouldn't surprise Alec at this point, and he might actually like the idea, under different circumstances. Right now, he can't think of much else but the issue at hand. "Slowly."

Alec breathes deeply, relaxing his muscles. It's agonizing as he slides his index finger inside himself, the cool sensation of the lubricant making him gasp. He's about halfway before Magnus is speaking again.

"I bet you look so good right now..." Magnus says, his voice soft. It doesn't even sound like Magnus is thinking of him in that way, which makes the whole situation somehow more erotic. There's a long silence, only the sound of breathing audible from either two before Magnus speaks again. "Now add another one."

Alec closes his eyes, colors swimming in his vision. He can just picture the tan skin beneath Magnus' dark blue, almost navy, shirt, the dark black hair against his skin, the smudged gold and black around his eyes... Alec minds is blanks, sans this one image, as he slides another finger into himself. 

"Are you enjoying yourself, darling?" Magnus' voice is scratchy, and he wonders what Magnus had been doing this whole time. He assumes the same, but he doesn't want to ask; knowing is enough to send him over the edge, and despite the fact that he's so painfully close, Alec doesn't want to come yet. 

"Quite a bit," Alec exhales the words softly, flexing his fingers against himself, spreading them in just a way that a sensation of pleasure shoots through him, like the blood through his veins. He lets out a high pitched sound.

"Good," Magnus says, sounding quite satisfied with himself, know well that even though he wasn't there with Alec, it was him that was causing these sounds. "Me too."

Alec pushes down onto his fingers, desiring so much more, but not wanting to do anything that Magnus hadn't told him to. He waits. He can hear Magnus moving. He's curious, it sounds as if Magnus is just... browsing the Internet or something mundane, all the while Alec is losing his mind.

"Alexander, darling," he finally hears after what is much too long for his own liking. Magnus' voice is closer than it was, but farther, much too far. Alec wants him here, wants his fingers to be the ones inside him, his lips against Alec's skin... "Can you do another, dear?"

"Yes, yes, yes," Alec whimpers softly. Although it hurts a bit, it feels so good to be so... full. He feels like he's filled to the brim with ecstasy, a kettle so close to boiling over. He tried to relax as much as possible, but every muscle in his body is tingling.

"You haven't been touching your cock, have you?" Magnus asks, almost as if that was an afterthought. Alec bites his lip, shaking his head. He can see a blinding white light in the corners of his vision.

"No," he gasps. He wanted to, badly, but one hand was tangled into his sheets, knuckles turning white; the others fingers were inside of him, and he may not be the most normal person in the world, but he wasn't so abnormal he had a third hand. 

"Mm, you're such an angel..." Magnus mumbles, and Alec hears something in the background, like Alec is moving, yet again. And really, it's killing him.

"What are you doing, Mags?" Alec doesn't know what makes him say the nickname, but Magnus makes a sound at it, almost pleased with his choice of words. 

"The same thing you're doing, of course," Magnus replies. 

"Oh." Alec says, changing to a more comfortable position. "You sound so... unaffected."

Magnus let's out a breathy sound, not quite enough to be a laugh. "Believe me, you have quite an affect on me." 

Alec's lips curl into a hint of a smile. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah," Magnus agrees, and Alec sighs softly. "You can touch yourself now, baby doll."

Alec would find the sensation of his palm against his shaft satisfying if he didn't feel so wrung out. He slowly strokes himself, feeling closer and closer with each one. His phone vibrates from somewhere on the bed, where Magnus was on speak, and he opens up the text. It's a picture, nothing but Magnus in leopard print briefs, leaving almost nothing to the imagination.

"I have plenty more where that came from," Magnus' voice is just a thrum in the back of his mind now, his thoughts swirling; he curls his fingers pressing them deeper, pulling slightly out, then pressing again. His strokes become faster, more desperate, until he's spilling out against himself with a long, drawn out groan. "But I'm guessing you won't be needing them."

"No," Alec laughs softly, then hesitates for a moment. He bites his lip. He had come (ha) this far. He could be bold, too. Magnus wasn't the only one in control. Although, he's sure that's easier to say now after having had what was arguably the best orgasm of his life. "Do you?"

"Do I what, darling?" Magnus asks. Alec hears the bed shift slightly.

"Want pictures?" Magnus seems to ponder Alec's question. He's not sure why he'd need to, it's a yes or no question, but Alec had figured out not to really question Magnus' method. He was very cryptic in most of his replies, even his actions.

"I think I'd like that a little a too much," Magnus says finally. It's not a yes or a no. Alec struggles to find a good position, but eventually finds one where he can see just about everything; he snaps a few, then sends all of them to Magnus, waiting for his response. He can tell Magnus had just opened the texts. There's an intake of breath, a groan. "And I was correct."

Alec kind of wishes he hadn't come so quickly. Or taken a picture sooner. He can hear the bed squeaking, skin to skin contact, all the sounds he himself had made, the mental imagine overtaking his mind. He doesn't hang up as he cleans himself up, anxiously anticipating Magnus' climax as if it were his own. He's deep beneath the blankets, eyes droopy, when it finally happens. 

Alec's breath catches in the back of his throat. He can feel himself having some sort of... mental orgasm alongside Magnus, if that was a thing. He can't see anything happening, but Magnus' is uttering a string of profanities that could rival even the most foul-mouthed of sailors. Moments later, his phone lights up with another text, another picture. 'Good night, sweet dreams. I know mine will be ;) xx' 

And with that, Alec turns onto his back, closes his eyes.

And falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> So this started with an AU prompt and turned into 4.5K words of I don't know what the heck I'm doing :D also, this took five hours (because Hamilton is a hell of w distraction, lemme tell you) and it's currently 4:08, so whatever mistakes you see, know they were not intended and will be fixed. So I hope you enjoyed this...


End file.
